Adversarial, chaotic divorces are the stuff of legend these days. The sacred contract between two people is also a civil contract, which could be ended in a business-like manner, but that is rarely what happens. People’s emotions tend to rule the day in divorce unless the two decide to try a different approach. There are steps you can follow to make sure that your divorce is as civil and drama-free as possible, and even if your soon-to-be-former spouse is bent on conflict you can stay on the high road and not engage in their antics.
Here are some tips that we like to share with clients to help them to prepare to move through the divorce process.
- Get your head in the game
Prepare yourself mentally for the process of ending your marriage. The longer the marriage lasted, the more difficult it can be to end the relationship, but you must find a way to set those emotions aside and deal with the business at hand. These decisions that you make during divorce can have a lasting impact on your life, so approach them wisely and with the advice of a knowledgeable, Franklin divorce attorney.
- Take good care of yourself
Do not give in to the urge to let yourself go. Take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Do not abandon your workout schedule. Do not over-indulge in alcohol, food or any other form of self-medication. If you need to speak to a counselor or a coach, do so and follow their advice. You want to be at your best when you are going through such a challenging process.
- Watch what you say
If you have become accustom to communicating with your ex online, learn to exercise restraint once the divorce has begun. Do not pick fights via text message, Instagram, email or any of your social media platforms. In fact, a good internal rule to follow is to never send any form of written communication to your spouse that you would not copy the judge on or want to judge to read in open court in front of everyone. Keep your feelings of anger, hurt and betrayal to yourself and do your best to approach the divorce as if it were a business transaction.
- Learn to listen
Take the time to listen to what the other side has to say, answer their requests for documents as promptly as possible. There are certain things that they want and things that you want out of the divorce. If you work together you improve the chances of each of you getting as much of what you wanted as possible.
- Consider the value of forgiveness
Forgiveness is a valuable tool because it resolves past hurts and wipes the slate clean. Even if your spouse is not forthcoming with an apology that you think they owe you, give yourself the gift of accepting their apology anyway.
- Consider the value of an apology
If you have anything to apologize for, doing so will help ease communications between the two of you for now and moving forward.
- Establish rules of communication with your spouse
If you know that almost every conversation with your soon to be former spouse devolves into a brawl, you can decide to limit you communication with them unless they agree to a set of ground rules.
When you are ready to end your marriage, one of the best things you can do is hire the right divorce attorney for your situation. An experienced, Franklin divorce attorney from the Law Offices of Adrian H. Altshuler can explain the process, tell you what documents you will need and guide you through the complex and often emotional process of ending a marriage. When you approach divorce with a plan, and an idea for how you plan to move on with your life when it is over you feel more empowered and less at the mercy of a vengeful, vindictive former spouse.
Contrary to the stories that you have heard about messy, contentious divorces, getting divorced does not have to end up as a brawl in court. An experienced family law attorney from the Law Offices of Adrian H. Altshuler & Associates is ready to discuss your case with you and answer your questions. You may contact us at 615-977-9370 to schedule a consultation at our Franklin, Columbia or Brentwood office.