Avoid These Common Divorce Mistakes
Divorce is a physically and emotionally draining experience. It’s a major life event with which most people have no previous experience. This combination often leads people to make common mistakes that result in longer, more expensive, and more painful litigation than is otherwise necessary. Here are some tips to help you avoid these mistakes:
Be disclosive: The purpose of hiring an attorney is to have someone with the necessary legal knowledge to advocate on your behalf. However, it is impossible for an attorney to achieve that goal unless the lawyer knows what you know. It is the combination of your attorney’s legal knowledge and your knowledge of the situation that will allow your attorney to maximize the outcome of the divorce proceeding. Even if a particular detail is unpleasant, you should share it with your attorney because that way the impact will be minimized.
Work things out but understand the costs if you don’t: It’s usually best for you and your spouse (through your attorneys) to work out many of the issues that arise, such as child custody and support, spousal support, and property division. If, however, you and your spouse are unable to reach an agreement, you will have to go to trial. Extended litigation will necessarily increase the cost of the divorce. Therefore, it is vitally important for you and your attorney to discuss all potential costs of the divorce. You should tell your attorney from the beginning how much you are willing or able to pay. This information is important for setting realistic goals for the negotiation process.
Stay focused: The primary goals of any divorce should be the termination of the marriage, fair distribution of property, and, most important, provision for the physical and emotional care of the children. If both parties stay focused on these goals, they can often reach a settlement. Too often, however, the emotionally charged issues distract spouses. This leads to counter-productive behavior, such as name-calling and using children as means of manipulation. This behavior complicates the negotiation process because it shifts the focus to “winning” instead of the goals mentioned above.
Selecting an experienced divorce attorney can help you avoid these common mistakes.