Five Ways To Help Your Teenager Cope With Divorce
Divorce is probably harder on teenagers than anyone else. The change brings about an abrupt end to their childhood, perhaps before they were ready. Often, the result is that teens act out in rebellion after a divorce and parents often have a hard time determining if the actions are part of normal adolescence or are something more.
Here are five tips to help your teens through this period of transition:
- Be flexible in your parenting schedule. It’s common for teenagers to revolt when presented with a parenting schedule and refuse to go along with it. This is one of the ways teens try to establish some control when it feels like their world is spinning out of control. Friends, extracurricular activities, and jobs, are all very important to teenagers, and it’s important for them to participate in those activities as much as they did prior to the divorce. If that means you miss out of some of your parenting time, it’s okay.
- Encourage your teens to express their emotions. Your teens are going through a wide range of emotions during divorce—they may feel anything from shame to blame and everything in between. This can cause low self-esteem and lead your teens to risky and self-defeating behavior. Encourage your teens to talk about their feelings and help them regain their trust in you by being present and being a good listener.
- Encourage the relationship with the other parent. Do not speak ill of your ex-spouse in front of your teenagers. Your teenagers will be better adjusted if their bond with both parents is nurtured.
- Agree on consistent family rules that transcend both houses. Teens often try to play parents off of one another especially if the parents are living in different houses. Agree on basic rules and be consistent.
- Give it time. Your teens are being presented with a challenging and often conflicting situation. If you had a good relationship with your teen before the divorce, it is likely to come back if you give it some time. Express understanding and model optimism towards the future.
If you find these to be a challenge, contact an experienced family law attorney in TN to assist in your divorce matters.