When Fear Causes Conflict in a Divorce

When Fear Causes Conflict in a DivorceBy the time you file for a divorce, you’ve made the decision that your marriage can’t be saved. You’ve decided that it’s better to move forward than hold on to the past. Even with the certainty that divorce is your best option, all spouses have anxiety and fear about the divorce process. It’s natural and healthy to worry about your financial security, the life your children will have after the divorce, and what type of personal life you’ll be able to enjoy.

The good news is that our Franklin family lawyer has helped many spouses navigate through the divorce dispute process so they can move forward afterward with the confidence necessary to grow and help their children grow. At the Law Offices of Adrian H. Altshuler & Associates, we help spouses recognize their fears, manage their fears, and negotiate with their spouses during this difficult time. We’re also skilled at litigating high-conflict divorces when your spouse tries to take advantage of your fears or has his/her own fears.

What fears do spouses have during a divorce?

It’s actually healthy to be fearful when you’re going through a divorce. The longer you’ve been married, the more fearful you’re likely to be because you’ll now have to pay your own bills, provide for your children without the immediate help of your spouse, and start new relationships. Along with your fear; you may also feel guilt, grief, anger, anxiety, and yes, some relief.

Psychology Today identifies these major fears.

Fear for your children. Spouses who have children worry about how their children will adjust to a divorce. How will the children do in school? Will they keep their same friendships? Will they suffer a stigma because their parents are divorced? Will their children feel like they have to choose one parent over another parent? Will they be able to bond with both parents?  Will you miss out on precious activities like birthdays and holidays if your child is with the other spouse?

Fear about the legal process. Will you be able to have legal and physical custody of their children? Could you lose the right to see their children in a high-conflict divorce? How much time will your children spend with your spouse? How will the exchanges work? Can any custody and visitation orders be modified? What happens if you or your ex-spouse remarries or have a new relationship? Our Franklin attorney is skilled at negotiating custody and visitation agreements and orders because we understand the key factors that judges review to decide how your child is raised and the many practical issues that you need to consider so your children prosper after the divorce is final.

Fear of financial instability and insecurity. It’s more expensive for two people to live separately than together. For most families, decisions do have to be made about how you and your children can stay in the family home. Decisions may need to be made about keeping a business or selling it.  You may need to return to work or look for a higher-paying job.

Your lawyer will need to negotiate an agreement with your spouse or litigate your rights before a judge. You’ll need agreements or court orders that decide which assets you can keep, which assets of your spouse’s (such as bank accounts, businesses, and retirement accounts) you have a right to, and how all your assets and debts will be divided. Our lawyer can help you understand your right to receive or duty to pay child support and spousal maintenance support.

Fear of a new identity. Spouses have many personal worries about their relationships after a divorce. Will you be able to keep your friends and family connections when your spouse had the same friends and family connections? Will your friends who are couples be comfortable with you now that you are single? Will any of the people you know be angry with you? Are there rules for dating again? You might wonder, “Who will be interested in me if I’m divorced with children?”

Fears about the future after the divorce. When the divorce ends, who can you talk to when you’re lonely? How do you cope with your sadness? Will you find love again?

How does our Franklin family lawyer help spouses address their fears?

We help spouses in different ways. If you or your children are stressed, we do work with psychologists, including child psychologists, who are trained to help spouses and children who are going through a divorce. These mental health professionals are not marriage counselors. They are not trying to save your marriage. Just the opposite is true. They’re skilled at helping people discuss their fears about the divorce process. They’ll help you understand that many people do divorce and most people, once the divorce is finalized, are much happier and feel freer than when they were trapped in a bad marriage.

Our lawyers begin by explaining what your rights are. Often, spouses don’t realize what property is considered marital property and how that property is valued. We’ll explain the factors that decide custody issues, child support payments, and how spousal maintenance/alimony works in Tennessee.

Many family law disputes in Franklin are resolved without a trial. The alternatives to trial include negotiation between the lawyers for each spouse, mediation by a neutral professional who has experience resolving disputes, and collaborative divorce where lawyers, spouses, and various professionals such as financial professionals work together to achieve a settlement.

These alternatives are more friendly because they’re conducted outside the formal setting of a courtroom. They’re generally less expensive than a trial and usually achieve more satisfactory and long-lasting results for you and your children.

When necessary, such as when your spouse is trying to take advantage of your fears, we are always ready to assert your rights before a family law judge. We are experienced court litigators.

Relax. Take a deep breath. We’ll get you through this difficult time step-by-step while securing your financial and personal future. Clients rely on the Law Offices of Adrian H. Altshuler & Associates to assert their rights calmly and with confidence. Call our Franklin divorce lawyers today or use our convenient contact form to schedule your initial consultation. We maintain additional offices in Brentwood and Columbia.