According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the divorce rate in the United States is 2.5 per 1,000 people. While this may seem like a low number, there were around 700,000 divorces across the country over the last two decades.
If you are on the verge of becoming one of these statistics or simply want to ensure that you keep your marriage healthy and happy, research shows you should start taking initiative, participating in household chores, and communicating.
How does participating in household chores help save a marriage?
According to a recent study conducted in Sweden, “unequal housework allocations are associated with depression, marital dissatisfaction, and divorce.” In addition, the study explains that if housework inequality is present in a marriage, there may be long-term consequences when it comes to the stability of the relationship, which increases the chances of divorce.
Realistically, if your marriage is on the brink of failing, folding a load of laundry or doing the dishes is most likely not going to save it. However, if you are able to take a step back and evaluate your communication and equal participation in the household early on, you may have a happier and healthier marriage going forward, potentially avoiding divorce altogether.
Communication is the key to a successful marriage
While the Swedish study is an excellent source for showing couples that they need to both partake in household chores, one of the top culprits for causing marriages to fall apart is lack of communication. Psychology Today reports that lack of communication is one of the most frequently-cited reasons people give for their divorces. Therefore, while you may believe that you are on the edge of divorce because you did not help out with the household items, the real reason behind this may be lack of communication.
An example of how communication can be an underlying issue when it comes to housework is when one person in the marriage does most or all the housework a certain way, so the other person stops helping and expects them to do everything. The partner who does all the household chores may become agitated and frustrated by their partner’s lack of effort, while the other partner believes that they do not need to help with anything unless they are asked. Both partners in this scenario are clearly lacking effective communication. When couples refuse to talk about issues or simply do not know how to, this causes bigger problems that cover up the underlying communication issues. That said, if you work on communicating, you may be able to avoid a potential disaster in your marriage.
Do not wait until it is too late
Many people do not communicate the same ways or know how to effectively communicate with one another. However, while communicating may be hard, going through a divorce can become physically and emotionally draining. Therefore, if you choose to do the hard things now, you may be able to avoid the even harder things later. In order to successfully communicate, you must try to do the following:
- Take a step out of your comfort zone: Communicating can be extremely uncomfortable for a lot of people. Maybe you never learned how to talk about issues, or maybe you have a very different communication style than your spouse. Regardless of the circumstances, you must be willing to take a step out of your comfort zone and learn how to effectively communicate with them. This can take months or years, but your effort will make a big difference in your relationship.
- Do not point fingers: It is easy to point fingers, become defensive, or blame others when your spouse confronts you about an issue. However, you must take a minute to sit back, breathe, and think about what your spouse is saying and see it from their point of view.
- Work on yourself: When you and your spouse have an issue, focus on working on yourself. Take accountability for your faults and try to better yourself for the relationship. If you do not think your communication is working, you may need to learn how to communicate differently to save your marriage.
Although it is healthy to argue with your spouse from time to time, you must talk about your problems if you want to solve them. Walking away and expecting them to disappear is not a solution. By doing this, the problems will continue to grow and eventually become a catastrophe waiting to happen.
Why is a Franklin divorce lawyer giving advice to save marriages?
Our Franklin divorce lawyers at the Law Offices of Adrian H. Altshuler & Associates are experienced, knowledgeable, and skilled when it comes to helping people through the process of divorce. Although we take great pride in our work, we want every client to know that there may be a few more things that they can try before getting a divorce.
Our team sees a lot of clients each year who divorce their spouses due to lack of communication. Therefore, we believe if individuals took the time to learn how to communicate effectively with their spouses that they may be able to avoid suffering the lasting effects of divorce.
If you have tried everything you can to save your marriage, it is most likely time to begin speaking to our divorce attorneys. We have compassion and understanding toward our clients who are going through divorce, and we will do everything we can to ensure that the process remains as smoothly as possible for you.
If you are thinking about filing for a divorce, reach out to a divorce attorney at the Law Offices of Adrian H. Altshuler & Associates today. Our team will go over every detail of the process with you, provide legal advice regarding what we think you should do, and answer any questions or concerns you may have. For more information, or to schedule a consultation, call our office, or submit our contact form. We have offices in Franklin, Brentwood, and Columbia.