Major Reasons Marriages Fail
Why do marriages fail
Some of the common causes of marriage failure include the following:
Failing to share responsibility for raising the children
Raising children involves a lot of joy, but also a lot of work and money. Constant communication is needed to determine which parent will ensure the child is fed, attends school, develops a moral sense, enjoys healthy social relationships, and much more. Raising and disciplining children should be the responsibility of both parents.
When one parent feels the other isn’t making adequate contributions, resentment can form, and frustrations can linger. When the child’s needs aren’t being met, a parent may feel that divorce is the only way to force a solution.
Postponing problems instead of discussing them
Relationships involve daily decisions about a variety of issues, such as the day's activities and the chores to be done. Long-term decisions, such as what each spouse wants for their career, hopes, and dreams, are part of marriage. Spouses need to find time to ask about each other's concerns and discuss their issues openly. When problems are continually avoided, one spouse may feel that all hope of communication is lost.
An unsatisfactory sex life
Some sexual issues can be addressed through communication and counseling. In other cases, couples may experience a loss of emotional or physical intimacy over time. When that connection diminishes, some spouses may conclude that the marriage is no longer sustainable.
Spouses who develop new relationships or rekindle old ones
When a spouse reconnects with an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend, or becomes intimate with a non-spouse, a serious breach of the marital contract has occurred. Some couples can come to terms with an outside relationship. Many couples can’t. The injured spouse feels they have no choice but to dissolve the marriage and hire a family lawyer.
Financial problems
One common cause of divorce is financial difficulty. If one spouse is earning a living and the other isn’t, then the working spouse may feel the need to end the marriage. A spouse who sacrifices a career to raise the children may feel they are being taken for granted.
Sometimes, even when both spouses are working, there isn’t enough money to pay the bills. If one spouse has a costly addiction or an inability to handle money, that too can force the end of a marriage.
Other reasons that marriages fail
Some of the many other reasons that marriages may fail include:
- Domestic violence
- Religious differences
- The inability to get along with in-laws, siblings, and other family members
- Constant arguing
- A work-life imbalance
Marriages can also end because the spouses married at a young age, before they knew what they wanted out of life.
What are some of the warning signs of marriage failure?
Spouses should consider marriage counseling or speaking with a lawyer about divorce if the following signs of a failed marriage appear:
- Constant arguing
- Financial problems
- Inability to communicate
- Lack of trust
- Lack of intimacy
- Constant criticism
- Physical abuse
- Emotional abuse
- Threats of harm
- Having the same argument
- Keeping secrets or lying
- You don’t enjoy being with each other
- The reliance of either spouse on a non-spouse
What are the grounds for divorce in Tennessee?
Tennessee recognizes these grounds for divorce (§ 36-4-101):
- Impotency
- Bigamy
- Adultery
- Willful desertion for one or more years
- Conviction of an infamous crime or confinement in a penitentiary
- Attempting to kill your spouse
- Pregnancy by another man at the time of marriage, without the husband’s knowledge
- Habitual drunkenness or drug use
- Excessive cruelty
- Behaving so intolerably that your spouse has to leave (or vice versa)
- Irreconcilable differences
- Living separate and apart for two (2) years without cohabitation, where the parties have no minor children
How does the reason for the marriage’s failure affect your divorce?
A failed marriage affects the following family law matters:
Divorce
A sexual relationship with someone other than your spouse may constitute adultery. If the new relationship results in a child, that may also be grounds for a divorce.
For many spouses, the reasons for the divorce (such as failing to care for the children, a lack of communication about problems, financial difficulties, and an unsatisfactory sexual relationship) qualify as “irreconcilable differences,” which is a basis for an uncontested divorce.
Property division
Financial difficulties can affect the division of your marital property. It’s important to understand what debts and financial obligations each spouse has, in addition to what assets and income they have. We work to ensure marital debts are fairly allocated under Tennessee’s equitable distribution laws.
Financial problems can also help decide whether one spouse should buy out the other spouse’s interest in a home, retirement accounts, or other assets. It’s generally best not to rely on the other spouse’s ability to earn a living after the divorce when it comes to the division of marital property.
Custody
Some of the ways a failed marriage can affect child custody include the following:
- A child with someone other than the spouse means the parent must care for that child in addition to the children from the marriage.
- New relationships can affect which parent has legal or physical custody of a child and parenting plans. Infidelity generally does not affect custody unless it impacts the child’s best interests.
- The inability to share parental responsibilities can affect child custody decisions. Parents need to place the interests of their children first.
- Excessive parental conflict indicates that any custody agreement or order should address how conflicts can be resolved.
- Domestic violence is likely to affect both legal and physical custody to ensure the safety of your children.
- Financial difficulties can affect custody if a parent cannot provide a safe and healthy environment.
- Religious differences may affect which parent has legal custody.
Child support
Additional children may be considered under Tennessee’s child support guidelines in certain circumstances.
The income of the parents is one of the main factors in determining child support. Financial difficulties are likely to affect the amount of child support. If a parent’s income increases, we can seek to increase the amount of child support.
Alimony
When marriages end due to financial difficulties, one spouse may require alimony to ensure their financial future.
There are four types of alimony in Tennessee:
- Rehabilitative alimony helps a spouse with a low income become self-supportive through education or training.
- Alimony in futuro (periodic alimony) is ongoing support paid at regular intervals and may be modified by the court if there is a substantial and material change in circumstances. It generally ends if the spouse receiving alimony remarries or dies.
- Transitional alimony is short-term to help a spouse immediately after divorce.
- Alimony in solido is a non-modifiable award for a definite total amount, which may be paid in a lump sum or in installments.
Marital fault
Adultery and other types of marital fault may justify alimony (or a higher amount), provided the alimony is designed to provide financial support, not to punish the wrongful spouse. The increase or decrease depends on which spouse was at fault.
Whatever the reasons for the end of a marriage, a spouse who isn’t happy with the marriage can and should consult with a respected Sevierville lawyer who can explain your options and help you establish your priorities. At the Law Offices of Adrian H. Altshuler & Associates, our lawyer has 35 years of experience helping clients navigate these upsetting times. We can help protect your needs, your children, and your future.
To speak with a respected family lawyer, please call us or fill out our contact form to schedule an appointment. We represent spouses and parents in Franklin, Columbia, Brentwood, and the nearby Tennessee areas.
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