One of the hardest difficulties for spouses is admitting that your marriage isn’t going to work. It’s especially hard when there are children involved. Most spouses try go the extra mile before deciding that divorce is the right choice. The extra mile usually means reviewing your marital difficulties with family and friends. Sometimes, it means trying marriage counseling or other types of professional help.
Why marriages end
Marriages dissolve for many reasons:
- Spouses may have gotten married before they really knew who they were
- The interests of the spouses may change
- Financial difficulties can often make it impossible to focus on the romance
- Sadly, some spouses have affairs with others during the marriage
- Career goals may change which can make staying together problematic
- Some spouses may not be able to resolve marital conflicts that inevitably occur
Spouses often stay together even though they know they simply can’t speak to each other, relate to each other, or be intimate with each other. Many times, one spouse is more aware than the other that the marriage simply isn’t going to work.
Some reasons not to delay the divorce
There are emotional, financial, and practical reasons for not waiting too long to decide to speak with experienced Tennessee divorce lawyers:
- What’s in the best interest of the children. Children need stable loving homes. It’s not healthy for them if they are listening to parents arguing all the time. If parents are spending more time hating each other than loving their children, then it may be in the children’s best interest to dissolve the marriage. With effective planning, negotiation, and counseling parents can enter into parenting plans that establish boundaries for where the children will live and who will make the legal and daily decisions for them. Many children of divorce do lead successful lives. Many divorced spouses and children establish strong bonds that could never have been achieved if the parents stayed in a loveless marriage.
- Financial interests. If one spouse is getting into debt, then the sooner the divorce takes place the better. Spouses are generally responsible for the debts of the other spouse provided the debts were acquired during the marriage. Tennessee divides marital property equitably. A timely divorce can make the division of marital assets easier. The longer couples stay married, the more likely it may be that the breadwinner will have to pay spousal support. Longer marriages can mean the non-working spouse can claim part of your retirement benefits too – depending on when the benefits vest.
- Emotional interests. Staying together in a bad marriage takes a huge emotional toll. If your focus is on anxiety, depression, anger, or other emotions – you can’t focus on your children, job, family, friends, and enjoying life.
If spouses agree to a divorce, then dividing the property and other family law matters is easier, and often less costly, to resolve. Staying in a marriage that isn’t working often makes it tougher to negotiate settlements because the spouses focus more on their hurt than moving forward.
Seeking divorce advise is a hard but necessary choice. With proper planning, effective counseling, and strong negotiation – you can move forward. At the Law Offices if Adrian H. Altshuler & Associates, we guide you through each phase of the divorce process. We explain your options and work to achieve the best financial and emotional solutions for you and any children. For experienced and caring counsel in Columbia, Franklin or Brentwood, please call 615.412.1121, or complete our contact form. We serve clients throughout the region.